Music Soars

I watch in awe as her fingers fly up and down the piano keys, filling the house to rafters with sweet music. She plays page after page filled with notes, hardly missing a beat. The thump of her feet on the pedals and the millions of vibrations enter into and swirl around me as I press my head to the worn wood of the old upright. Dozens of tiny hammers pounding on strings. It seems to me as though it is effortless to this girl, as if playing music is as breathing. She plays on and on, at my request.

            Little does she know how I much envy her talent and knowledge.  I can make my fingers do little more than stumble across the keys, banging and uncoordinated. The sheets of music that she finds so easy to read are as Greek to me. From under my fingers come only a few short tunes, learned from memory and played again and again from lack of knowledge.

            The instrument holds power over me, never submitting and giving forth the music I long for. The piano simply gloats and lets out more caterwauling sounds, not remotely resembling music. I pound the keys with contempt, as if to beat it into doing my will. Still it holds the power, never submitting.

            But regardless of my contempt and frustration, this instrument holds me captive even as I slam my fist down, making the piano screech, and I stalk off in anger and defeat. It has bound me to itself with an unseen thread. It has tied my soul to the beauty I know it possesses and I am captivated. It drives me to distraction, this knowing that if I learn how to use the key I can be the one holding the power. I can be the one commanding forth music and being obeyed, if I diligently defy the power it holds over me. One day I to could have finger flying, actually producing a melody worth the listening.

            But I am discouraged. I see only dark ahead for a very long time, fingers stumbling. How many months will I have to work to finally be the one in control, whom under my fingers music soars? How much longer will I have to play music that you would expect from a toddler, just tall enough to reach the keys? When will I be able to truly make music that will stir the soul and cause people to sing?

            “Do not despair”. I read this while skimming over a page. “Keep going” it says “with time it will happen”. With time it will happen. I will learn and in the learning gain the knowledge I need to be the director of soul stirring music. I will someday have fingers as fleet as the girl’s. I will one day have the power over the instrument. I will be the maker of music!

            However far it may be, I will continue on and will one day play as well as the girl. Through hard work, I will finally be a maker of music. 

<3 Emma